I Honor Your Messy Life

I know extremely well that sometimes you’re sitting on a holiday going, “How did I get here?”

Maybe it’s like this:

-no kids
-or 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 kids that require energy you don’t have
-no home
-no job
-no date to hold hands with under the table
-no hubby to kiss in the kitchen
-family is not with you this year, or not with you at all
-no money
-no hope
-no dogs
-no health
-you’re not feeling authentic or true to yourself
-you’re not pursuing something that feels like a passion
-you’re with people but you feel alone
-divorce is on the table
-you’re sitting in a hospital
-you’ve made big mistakes or had big failures
-pain is consuming you
-no joy, no vibrancy



Well, I just want to first give you all a big hug and say that I’ve been there.

And, I want to honor every bit of your unexpected life; every bit of your pain; every bit of the part of you that wishes things were different; every bit of your life that feels messy.

Yes, I want to honor it completely. 

It is often BECAUSE of our unexpected life that we learn to love life. That we learn to thrive in life. That we learn to finally surrender to whatever we have before us. It is in the surrender that TRUE PEACE in this life can be felt.

And isn’t that what we all want?

May we all see our life – exactly as it is in this moment – as an opportunity to learn how to surrender. And therefore see the Light.

In my lifetime, I have found no greater way to feel peace.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all.

With all my love,


P.S. As I write this, it’s Christmas Eve. Since we’re in a foreign country, the Christmas that we know does not feel in the air. Danny took a nap upstairs while I worked on some Spanish lessons and we decided to have leftovers for dinner. ha. It’s kind of pathetic! It’s true! But this time of life must have some more lessons in it for me. Luckily, I went to sleep giddy like a kid because, after a prayer of gratitude, I got to fall asleep next to my favorite person on the planet.

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  1. Livyb December 26, 2015 at 2:59 pm - Reply

    What an absolutely perfect post. Absolutely love it. I often wonder if you and Danny realize that you ARE really making a difference in this world.

  2. Sunshine24 December 26, 2015 at 7:11 pm - Reply

    I love this post. It certainly rings true for me this year. My parents are both elderly and my mom, especially, has some health problems that we will need to make some decisions about soon. As a result, we haven't been much in the holiday spirit this year…taking on more of a caregiver role. My husband has been that special gift to me this year. He has acted as though my family were his own, with no complaints and total love. He has cared for my mother like a child. we always say that God brought us together, but now I truly believe it more than ever. There is a reason for everything and in darkness, light.

    • mara December 29, 2015 at 11:19 pm - Reply

      Your husband is a special gift, indeed. So incredibly beautiful. Much love and strength to you both as you serve your parents.

  3. Loraine December 28, 2015 at 12:46 am - Reply

    Somehow you make messy life feel beautiful. Thanks Mara!
    I hope your Christmas was wonderful.

  4. Charles December 28, 2015 at 10:51 am - Reply

    Thx, very interesting

  5. Anonymous December 29, 2015 at 5:25 pm - Reply

    I was a little sad that you haven't celebrated in your home in a more festive way…Having said so, I think that all the eating that goes on in these days are not really a way to honour the birth of Jesus which was in such simple and humble terms. We spent the holidays just my hubbie, I and our toddler (far from long family parties with way too much food) and we went very simple, but meaningful for us: A one plate meal, but a new recipee, reading the Bible, lighting up a candle, making prayers and going to bed early. The next day we made another simple meal (but a new recipee), exchanged simple gifts and that was it. It was amazingly calm and meaningful. We hope we can do it more often!

    • mara December 29, 2015 at 9:23 pm - Reply

      What a beautiful Christmas you've described. Thank you for sharing this. And yes, it's a good reminder that the birth of Jesus WAS so simple and humble. I'll try to think of that when I think of our Christmas abroad – far away from all the traditions, friends, family, and all the wonder of an our homeland Christmas. Much love to you and may your 2016 be filled with peace.

  6. the darling willow December 29, 2015 at 7:03 pm - Reply

    Mara, I wanted to first thank you for your dedication to spreading love, light and acceptance. And wish you a ver happy start to the new year, as well.
    Do you have any insight about a situation where you are consciously surrendering long-term happiness for momentary avoidance of pain and separation , all because of cowardice ? I'm seriously struggling with this right now. I feel awfully inauthentic and can't but blame and despise myself for it. I hope there is joy, peace and authenticity in your life ♡

    • mara December 30, 2015 at 12:24 am - Reply

      Dear Alma – hello dear – I'm so sorry to hear that you feel so stuck. I think what you described is a common situation for many at some point in life. I'll just take a stab at this even though I don't know your exact situation. But I would say one way to overcome "feeling stuck" is to begin opening up about your state of being. If a partner or family member is involved, perhaps voice your concerns with them and see if that leads to anything. It's crazy how much of a RELEASE one can feel by being open about your pain or state of being or desires (especially when you are so aware of the dysfunction, internal turmoil or despair it is causing). The alternative is feeling like you are living in a cage. Sometimes being open about things can even improve your energy – and even change the energy of a situation. So I recommend starting there if you haven't already. Though it should be noted that there are some unique or extreme circumstances in which opening up might not be a safe idea. In that case, I would open up with someone who feels like a safe ally and get some support from the outside.

      Ultimately, the goal is to be true to yourself by using your voice and making the changes that you feel you need to make! Sometimes changes need to take place internally. Sometimes changes need to involve a change on the outside. If you feel you need support and guidance in either of those journeys, I hope you can find someone to assist you (whether it’s a coach, therapist, family member, etc.) It’s extremely hard to make a change – (I know!). But continuing on like this for the long-term can feel like a living hell. SO, be GRATEFUL that your body and soul and spirit are nudging you. That's a beautiful thing. Honor that. Trust yourself. And BELIEVE that you can survive whatever outcome you are faced with. We always talk about tapping into your truest identity – the one that can choose and the one that can pursue a virtue no matter what. Tapping into this identity CAN help one to survive any circumstance..and to even thrive and feel purpose in life, no matter what you're faced with. It allows you to thrive without fear. I wish you all the best! (And, if you'd like to do a mentoring session with us and have us be a part of your healing team, we'd love to.)

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