You may not believe me, but people who have known me a long time can probably back me up on that.
I just felt like I didn’t have anything to offer. One of my loved ones was particularly critical of me at the time. And back then I felt that disapproval deeply. I believed the messages that were being sent my way: that I was not good enough. That I wasn’t valued. And, my voice stopped. There was nothing there.
I can tell you from experience, feeling like you don’t have a “voice” is NOT FUN. (Maybe some of you can relate?)
And it affects more than speaking. I would not have been caught dead writing something online. Or sharing my opinion or thoughts in a public setting. Or even leaving a comment on someone’s blog. Not even a comment! Ever! I would never accept speaking or teaching assignments in church, either. I felt I had nothing of value to say.
It wasn’t until I began to rebuild my self worth from scratch that I began to feel I actually had something worthwhile to say – and the fears involved in sharing it started to melt away. Having some self worth affected EVERYTHING: The way I walked. The way I breathed. The way I interacted with friends. The way I spoke up and shared my opinion or thoughts in public. The way I felt as I laid my head on my pillow at night. The way I felt about being a valued human being in this world. My whole life was transforming before my eyes. It was so miraculous to me that I knew I had to use my voice to help others (welcome to this blog! 🙂 I knew there must be other people out there like me.
I felt that if *I* had a voice in there – deep beneath so much previous worthlessness and fear, that EVERY SINGLE PERSON out there had a voice, too, and it NEEDED TO BE HEARD. The world needs us all. It is a great dream of mine that anything I say here on this blog might help you to use your voice, too.
I guess the point of this post is to just offer HOPE.
Dear readers, have you ever experienced something like this, where your voice seemed to stop? Or maybe you are experiencing it now? Do you feel this started due to an experience or due to someone else who perhaps contributed to silencing you? If you’ve made it to the other side, it would be awesome to hear.
Love to all,