Love Story & A Hard Headed Woman



Thank you, dear Mara.  I really do love you…no qualifications needed…and for all the right reasons.  Thank you for returning that and for bringing so much hope and joy and pure happiness into my life. 

So…I’ve got a song for you – Hard Headed Woman by Cat Stevens.  I know a hard headed woman can sound like a bad thing, but I think he means it just like you’ve been saying – a strong partner with a level head, a knowledge and conviction of what really matters.  Anyway, I was playing that on the guitar last night and thinking of you 🙂  If you don’t already have the song, let me know and I’ll email it to you.


I am absolutely crazy about you.  I am looking up that song, now.  And smiling the biggest smile of my life.  And I’m so happy I could cry.

….OK, LOOOVE that song.  I’m flattered!  And well…um….I’ll let you see for yourself.  But phew!  I think it’s safe to say that I am a hard headed woman!!  I’ve made it.  Feels pretty dang good to be able to say that.  I’ve been working at that for awhile now, you know, and well, I’m happy to say that I’ve finally had a really level head these days.  But…. ummm……sometimes I have a hard head in the bad way.  ok?  🙂  I’ll admit it.  It doesn’t happen often….but, it involves sleep & food.  If it’s super duper late at night or if I’m hungry, you just might see my hard head come out.  But it is actually so rare.  And hopefully it will just be amusing if it happens.  Cause normally it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers.  But if it ever happens, it lasts for just a moment.  And I’m quick to catch myself and make things right (it may involve a change of attitude or just a bean burrito).  Hahha.  Just being totally open here with all the nitty gritty…

I’ll be up working for a bit.  Though I wish I had a reason to go right to bed right now!!! (If we marry, know that I will always want to go to bed with you on time instead of staying up late….and I don’t care if you are getting used to sleeping alone with no warm body touching you…cause if you marry me know that those days will be OVER.  🙂  At least for a few minutes each night.  And then I’d go to my side of the bed smiling and happy and content.  🙂

Goodnight!!  I simply cannot wait to see you!!!!!!! 


P.S. Hard Headed Woman will be on repeat until I fall asleep 🙂


Goodness, where to begin?  I LOVED your email.  AAAHHHH!  I’m going nuts laughing and smiling at how cute you were talking about that song and how good you are at being level headed.  I love the way you write, the sense of humor that comes through, the kindness and sincerity…I melt completely.  And, might I just add, if I’m a little sharp, it usually has something to do with being hungry too.  But feed me and I will then apologize for being such a bear only 30 minutes before.  My brothers-in-law joke with my dad about priority number one…make sure Kofoed women get their meals at the regularly expected times or you’ve got trouble on your hands.  I don’t know if I’m as bad as them…but apparently it runs in the family 🙂

I don’t have words for what you wrote the other day, except for thank you.  Thank you a million times over for accepting me for who I am right now.  Thank you for seeing me and not a status.  I am so grateful for the woman and friend you are to me.  If I get the supreme honor of being your man, well, I’d be one lucky dog!  You made me get all misty eyed out of pure joy and gratitude.  Thank you!  

And maybe I’m reading too much into it….but I love what you espouse as your ideal bed time scenario.  I always loved a good cuddle/snuggle for a few minutes, but man if I wasn’t going to start sweating if that continued too long!  I can’t wait to have a warm body there….one that also likes her own side!  haha!


Oh Danny,

It’s like my world is a different one, these days.  Amazing how much happiness this new friendship/relationship has brought.

I am just GIDDY and happy and I love every moment of this.  I just want to savor it all.  And your last email just made me laugh out loud (yes, make sure the Kofoed women get fed.  That is a good idea.  I think with you that won’t be a problem.  I have been dreaming of avocado shakes and grilled cheese sandwiches and steak burritos with cilantro rice and every thing else you say you’re going to make me!!)

Oh, I love you.  Thank you for enjoying this.  Thank you for appreciating all the good in me.  I’d rather be appreciated and loved for all of those things instead of anything else.  Cause I won’t have my job when I’m 80.  And I won’t have my looks or my hair or my same body when I’m 80.  And I won’t be out driving a nice car or renovating apartments when I’m 80.  I’ll want nothing more than to be old, with my husband, caring for him and caring for our children and grandchildren and being a good, nurturing woman and trying each day to be an example of all good things for the generations after me.  So thank you for making it clear how much you value those things.  You are such a good man.

Oh, and the bedtime scenario.  Actually, I’d lay next to you all night if I could (ha!) but I’ve learned to be content not doing that, for my husband’s sake.  I have only met one married man in my entire lifetime that says he likes to snuggle with his wife, so I figured the chances of you being in that camp were slim. 🙂  

Good bye my dear, always so hard to say good-bye…


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  1. sadornia Chmielowski December 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm - Reply

    Danny and Mara I thank you for your blog I have learned so much about relationships and marriage. I heard this song and reading about you guys and your love made me automatically thought of you guys. It is by Avion Blackman from her album called third world girl. Here is the lyrics You have such a sweet heart, beautiful soul- i want you to know- beautiful soul I want you to know- beautiful soul I love you- Do I wake or do I dream- or is this just a fantasy- 'cause I seem to be falling- Falling over you- I could paint a thousand pictures- but none would ever compare- To the beauty that I see in your eyes- Life is full of regrets- and things I'd like to forget- But I'd never change the day that you came into my life…..

  2. Jaxon Peterson December 12, 2011 at 7:51 pm - Reply

    These are some of my favorite posts. Every time I read a new one I think, 'See! It exists! True love exists!'

    I have also been trying to figure out what I want in a wife and as I read these posts it makes me realize that it is less of 'who do I want?', but rather 'who do I want to be?'

    Thank you so much for posting these. 🙂

  3. Working Mom Journal December 12, 2011 at 8:39 pm - Reply

    Oh you guys wanna make me cry, this is too cute 🙂

  4. lisset December 12, 2011 at 9:35 pm - Reply

    AHHHH! I'm just dying here. Thank you, sweet Danny and Mara, for allowing us readers to come on this butterfly-filled journey. Seriously, these emails read better than a lot of novels! And it's real life! SWOON!

  5. Bri!!! December 12, 2011 at 10:06 pm - Reply

    The last email cracks me up! My husband is one of those men who would LOVE to cuddle All. Night. Long. I'm so not that girl, sad huh. I'm all about the short cuddle then go to my side of the bed. I think it's sweet though that he would love to. Getting a king size bed was the BEST THING EVER…for me;-).

  6. What is Love December 13, 2011 at 12:03 am - Reply

    Falling in love is the best feeling on the planet! I can't believe, (but am very pleased), that you have been able to post this corrospondence, i would have been far to shy!

  7. mara December 13, 2011 at 12:26 am - Reply

    SADORNIA: Thanks – aren't love songs the best?

    JAXON: SO glad you like these. Yes, true love exists. But like you said earlier, it's about becoming something – not waiting for some person to give it to you. You nailed it.

    LISSET: Guys – thanks for the sweet notes. It helps to see there are some fans of the Love Story posts.

    BRI: YES – that is so sweet he likes to cuddle. haha. That is pretty adorable. I have some awesome friends that are the same as you – he loves to cuddle and she doesn't. I guess we're all different. Luckily in the winter I get some good cuddles out of Danny, but summer time is a different story.

    WHAT IS LOVE: Thanks for the note! And well….I am kind of shy about publishing the love notes. It's bearing a lot! yikes! 🙂 But, I decided it was worth it to get over any fears cause these notes are just chock full of real life values — I thought it might be worth it for people to see….since there is so much crap out there & very little examples of healthy, loving relationships. So THANKS for the encouragement. Seriously means a lot. 🙂

  8. Shiloh December 13, 2011 at 1:19 am - Reply

    you guys kill me. I love the courtship emails. Always a good read. PS it doesn't matter how big or small the bed Andy and I sleep in, wherever he is, I am right next to him….much to his dismay. The only time I am not is when I am sick, like with the flu. I think he is getting used to it though:)

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